Recruiters are just salesmen, but they usually stop short of sounding like Nigerian princes that would like to send you money. Not this guy!

James,

This is not your “Jelly of the Month” club nor is it a typical offer from a Recruiter. This deal would give Clark Griswold the “hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny !@#$%^& Kaye”. Let me explain….

1) They were a referral to me from an existing client (gift)
2) My first placement was here last week, and the candidate is one of my friend’s husbands (another referral and gift).

I want to pay it back and offer you an opportunity to benefit directly as well while helping someone grow further in their career. One of my clients principals is a world-renown Author and Flex expert and he is going to teach the newbie how to “take Flex apart, put it back together and make Flex bend to their will”. From an economy of scale perspective they want to train 2-3 people simultaneously. Makes sense to me and it was music to my ears!

Here’s the deal. If you know of anyone who is stuck, not learning, not living up to their potential or you know is capable of so much more…I will line your pockets once they pass the guarantee period (right around the holidays). We can keep it in the strictest of confidence or handle it however you’d like. I don’t do this often, but they’d like to make an offer tomorrow and I think all of us can benefit somehow. I’m not greedy and we can put some money in the Karmic bank too. The description is below:

Work with Flex? No! You’ll learn how to take it apart and bend Flex to your will!
And you can hold us to that! Our client doesn’t merely work with Flex, they take it apart and put it back together again so that it bends to their will.

Our client the organization companies turn to as the “experts expert”. They are looking to add a couple of Full Time members to their team, in Chicago. All they require is some custom component creation experience. How you approach coding and communicate your ideas is as important as any other requirement they might have.

Long-term they’re interested in people that can lead internal teams as well as client teams, someone who can ascend to one of the mentorship roles they serve for their clients. This is absolutely a requirement.

You must be able to walk the fine line between being too quick or too late to consult with your colleagues or one of their senior consultants when faced with a new problem. Too quick would mean you’re asking for help on even basic concerns instead of just getting things done, too late means you’ve spent hours or days fighting a problem that would take someone who knows how to solve it minutes to fix and explain. It’s a difficult balance to strike, but something they find important.

You’ll also expected to form your own opinions about how to best architect a solution in code and argue for them effectively. Their senior consultants and team leads are opinionated but not close-minded, so the best argument usually wins the day. However, if the team lead says “I hear you, but do it my way,” you’ve got to be able to put your concerns aside and do as you’ve been told.

Your professionalism has to be on par with your technical proficiency. This is NOT a typical job description, but its far from a typical role. If you are interested and would like to learn more, please visit us at [redacted]. Our email address is [redacted]. No sponsorship or relocation is available for this position.

I like the ’70s pop culture references, heavy “I’m cutting you in on a sweet, secret deal” vibe, the unprofessional @#$% swearing, unnecessary Capitalization, and the bizarre and unnecessary admission of nepotism. And of course, the overselling of the company, but that’s not unusual.

Jelly of the Month Club, indeed.

Tags: weird professionalism

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